It's 23.09, which for some people may be considered too early to go to sleep. But not me. If I had my way, I would have no less than 12 hours of sleep each night, even on college days. However, thanks to my vestibular system, or whatever it is that's causing me to feel unbearably sick, I can't sleep again. I lie in bed, feeling quite relaxed until I am overcome by a wave of nausea that makes my mouth go dry so that I have to keep sitting up and sipping more and more water, hoping the nausea will leave me alone for a little bit.
Nights like this are much to common for my liking. I worry, because I know that if I don't sleep soon I will feel like shit tomorrow. I also hate how lonely being awake at night feels. But I am eternally grateful for my cat, who sits with me and fills the unbearable silence with purrs as soon as I come and sit with him during the nights that I can't sleep.
I understand that it's not completely my body's fault. I know I should take better care of myself. I mean, maybe if I hadn't of had any alcohol this week, or maybe if i'd given myself the early night I needed last night, I would be okay tonight. Maybe all of this is my body's way of punishing me for not treating it with enough respect. Why is it that I can look after other people so well, but not myself?
I just have to patient. Just relax, and try to forget about what's going on inside. Sleep always comes, it just takes a while longer than what my body needs sometimes.
I promise I will try and take better care of you from now on, body.
I too used to be the girl that stayed up all hours of the night, hanging out with friends, or watching movies. But since I was diagnosed with MAV, my priorites have changed. If I don't get at least 8-10 hrs of sleep a night.. my body PAYS for it the next day!! I too, have to be aware of my schedule! It's a much different life for me now! But every day.. I wake and say, " Thank GOD, I'm on this side of the dirt!" Celebrate LIFE!!! :)
ReplyDeleteKristi