I'm outnumbered but driven, so it's time I keep on living

Tonight has been another one where I constantly feel on the verge of fainting. Walking up the stairs feels ridiculously more difficult than it should. I think it is something simple, like low blood pressure caused by my medication. I get frustrated and start drinking, because I don't really see what harm it is going to do if I already feel like shit. I mentally raid through my medication, trying to think of something that will make it go away, but I already know that none of it will make any difference.

And then I think of something.

"Staying in the position of a victim, as a woman, does you no good at all."

I've never forgotten this. I heard it in a Tori Amos interview years ago. It hit me hard, because it was exactly what I needed to hear. It's true, and I have no excuse for staying a victim. Whenever I think of this, it helps me push myself. It makes me furiously determined.