I've gone too far away to hurt so I think I'll stay around to hear you breathe, saying all those words to me

My sister told me that she only really wants to watch films or read books that are beautiful. I feel the same, films that I don't find beautiful don't really mean much to me, but beautiful ones stick in my memory.

But it's not just films and books that have to be beautiful for me, it's everything. I've only recently realised how much I value beauty, and I think I know why. When you are living in a body where things feel wrong so often and the world is distorted, you have to give some kind of meaning to it. I try to see my distorted world as beautiful, because if I don't, then there is nothing good I can take out of it. The only time I ever really feel right living in my body is when I feel beautiful inside of it. I don't know what I would do if the world stopped feeling beautiful, because then everything would just feel more wrong.