"I sleep with guilt and failure for my sheets"
There is something I've noticed about some of the people who know about my condition. At first, they seem concerned and understanding, and seem to want to help make it easier for me in whatever way they can. After a while, they start to get frustrated, and seem to blame me for it. Maybe it's because people simply can't understand it, and they get annoyed with me, because I become a burden. Maybe they expect it to go away, like a cold does. They don't expect the full extent of my problems when they 'take me on'. They think they can handle me, but then they realise they can't. I don't understand why, because surely I am not that difficult? What is it about me, that they seem to find so frustrating?
This is why I am so reluctant to tell my new teachers about MAV. I'm putting it off, because I don't want what happened last year to happen all over again. I don't want to be labelled. I don't want to see disappointment and frustration in their eyes when they look at me. I don't want anyone to try and fix me.
'people who think this is more than you can handle, are less than the kind of people you need in your life' - remember that.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how dark things seem, there is always someone around to be there if you let them be