Middle of Nowhere... Finally You Can Breathe

So this is what i get for going to college five days a week?

Everyone gets tired. But i don't think everyone feels this exhausted after five days at college/work. Chronic fatigue is another one of those not so fun MAV/vestibular disorder symptoms.

I feel like this most weekends. I get myself through the week, then collapse. My body must hate me. I tried to do my coursework this morning, but i just couldn't. I don't have the strength. Instead, i just lay down and started crying because i needed it. I can't always be strong.

The worst part is that i feel old. I don't feel like i'm about to turn seventeen. I feel so much older... Sometimes, i feel like an old woman on her death bed.

The truth is, i am breaking myself, just by trying to live like a normal teenager. I can feel the damage i am doing to myself, every week.

Sometimes, i dream that i am running. Not running away, but running because i am free. Running because i can.

I want to feel sixteen.