Alas I cannot swim, I'll live my life regretting that I never jumped in

I know that I am near the end of this story, because when I look back over the last few years, I don't feel the same as I did then. It's like I am a different person, looking at myself and seeing me in a completely different way. I still feel it, but not so strongly. I know I've healed myself, and allowed other people to help heal me a little bit. I know I'm not there yet, but I think I am quite close. I am so relieved that the worst is over, that I'm terrified of any more pain. I just want to be happy and I don't want to be scared anymore, and most importantly I never want to feel so isolated again. So I cling onto my happiness, praying that it stays, but knowing that life will continue to test me.