Hello doctor. I woke up early this morning, because I really wanted to come and tell you some more symptoms that I've made up. Going to the doctors has to be one of my favourite things to do, especially when I have to wake up nice and early for my appointment. I like it best when you speak to my impatiently and sarcastically. It's such a thrill when you say "What can I do about it, Tamsin?", and reluctantly refer me for a blood test, because watching someone stick needles into my veins is such an amazing experience. I love the whole experience of going to the doctors with my fake symptoms so much, that I've been doing it since I was nine. Wow, that is nearly a decade. You'd think I'd have given up by now, wouldn't you?
The doctors actually seem to think I enjoy this. It's a fucking joke.
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