I keep on dreaming because I can.

I want to be an amazing violinist playing beautiful folk music in a pub in Ireland. I want to look out of the window and see rain. I want the music to make me feel warm, to fill the gap in my chest. I want to be hundreds of miles from where I am now.

I want to be walking in a town in New Zealand. I want to be 30 years old, going home to my husband and children. I want to be cooking in our warm, cosy kitchen, listening to music. I want my British accent to be the only thing that suggests I once had a completely different life, on the other side of the world.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a different life, in a different place, far away from here. I wonder what it would be like to be almost a completely different person. Sometimes I wish I was hudreds of miles away from myself and my life now, in time and location. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I think about what It would be like if all of what is happening now was just a distant memory, almost faded away completely. It makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. It helps me fade into sleep.