I am not very happy. Feeling more alone than ever because today made me realise exactly how few people there are who are actually able to empathise, and just listen to me.
I feel like I constantly have to defend myself. I am so sick of people thinking they know what is best for me when they have only seen a fraction of what MAV does to me. I have struggled with this on my own for so long, and suddenly because people have actually started to notice, they seem to think they know how to manage it better than I do.
It's like they think i'm not trying to get better. Of course I'm trying. I am doing the best that I can. I understand that this absolutely shit situation is not ideal. But there's not an awful lot I can do when doctors refuse to help me, and I start running out of options. All that I can do is try to get on with my life, so I don't appreciate it when they act like I should just give up, when I have been trying so hard.
Of course I want support. But I don't want to be treated like I'm doing something wrong by trying to stop my illness from ruining my life. I will not put up with people thinking that they know how to handle my illness better than I do. Until they have tried to understand what it feels like to live in my body, I will not let them tell me what I am supposed to do about my life.
I'm getting more and more dizzy. Probably because I am so angry.
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