I feel a bit like I am in limbo.
Three years ago, my symptoms were the worst they had ever been and they started affecting me more on a daily basis. I didn't go one day without some kind of symptom, and starting college was difficult because it was more physically and mentally demanding than school. Every day was a struggle. I am much better now, and I think this is because I learnt to manage it. Now, my symptoms still affect me everyday, but in a different way. I am stronger. I do not collapse as often as I used to, and my body seems to be able to handle more. I don't get as tired as I did before, I don't feel dizzy and sick as frequently. The best part is, I can go into remission, where for weeks I can do almost as much as everyone else. I can do pretty much all the things that I want to do, I just have to be very careful about it. When I relapse, it all gets worse again, but most of the time I am in control and it's bearable. I think, and hope, that I've been through the worst of it.
My sister came home yesterday from university because she is sick, and here my mum can help her out by cooking for her and things like that, so she doesn't have to do as much on her own. She has Crohn's disease. I think she is in quite a lot of pain at the moment. Listening to her talk about it, I realised that... It's not right for me to say I am sick, because right now I'm not, not like I was before, and not like Holly is now.
But, I'm still struggling. I don't feel ill, but I feel wrong. I hate that I can't explain it, because who is going to listen to me, who is going to help me if I can't explain what this feels like?
This is why I feel like I'm in limbo. I can't say I'm sick but I'm not healthy, because I don't think it's normal to feel this much like a ghost.
Can you help me?
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